48th entry?
So this is probably my 48th entry for today.
To tell you the truth, I am depressed.
Maybe that was an over-exaggeration though.
I'm sad/disappointed because someone close to me
has brought up relationships when I think it's
best to just appreciate me being their friend.
Sometimes it feels like asking to much from me
because I have yet to know and love myself. Self-
respect before others right? That's probably something I need
to understand not through someone else but myself.
So when I love myself, I'll be able to love someone
else too right? That probably sounds conceited but
I was told that it's true. For everyone in fact. All
this time along I think I've been pushed and I'm really
tired of it. I've got a hoard of guys trying to make
me do things for their benefit. No not like that, but
for some race over me. I'm not too sure what it's about
either. But my friend G*** was the one trying to protect
me from it. I appreciate his sibling care. But I am just
too curious. Of course I won't meddle in their affair.
I'll just act normal because I don't really know how to
act. I mean if I push them away, they will just keep fighting
to get me..
OTL I sound so self-centered right now. And I'm really sorry for
it. And I do realize that this blog is no longer on private, but
I have to let this out. Because it's stressful. If I were those
guys though, I would choose another girl. I'm not pretty enough
to be fought over.There are cuter Asian girls. At school and in
the Asian-crowded cities. I don't understand. I'm so confused.
[2010/09/18 10:52 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0)
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